Stephanie Brown

Hey, did you see the news? I'm a Teen Titan! Or something.

[OOC: To clarify, this post is public to anyone on hero.net. It just has the subject of "Teen Titans". :) ]

Yay, the universe is fixed!

Where is everybody? Tim? Johanna? Dick? Did you all come through it ok? My mom was FREAKED but it's mostly ok now, though she keeps making me cookies and giving me random hugs and telling me how much she loves me and how proud she is of me. All of which I can totally live with.

I'm helping mom out at the hospital, getting things back to normal there. She's all impressed I know how to read charts and give shots and suture and stuff now, even though I can't (legally) do any of that anymore, and a bunch of the doctors said how awesome we all were to keep the hospital running, so yay for us!

You know, that medical stuff was all kind of cool. Maybe I should be a doctor.

Ok, who's on this thing? Please god let there be some kid out there who knows magic.

Here's the recap. There's this complete whack job called the Queen of Fables who hates kids. She did this crazy thing at Gotham High yesterday where she showed up and grew vines around the whole place and SUMMONED A DRAGON which really sucked and was all bwa ha ha I'll get you my pretties and your little dogs too. And now, all the grown-ups are gone. Coincidence? I think not.

She goes in for fairy tale cliches, did this thing with poison apples on Halloween. I was talking to Zatanna about it, and she said to stay away and let her deal with it. But Zatanna's not here unless she's a SERIOUSLY early bloomer, so yay for us, we get to be goddamn heroes.

I don't know what's going to happen, but it's going to happen in Gotham. Get your collective vigilante asses over here. My cell phone is 555-746-1100. Text me or something and I'll try to coordinate.

Bring anyone or anything that might help in fighting a wicked witch. Harry Potter, Dorothy Gale, Aslan, I'll take anything at this point. Don't make me use blinky text.

Oh yeah, and this is Spoiler. Hey.

Ok, so I woke up this morning to get ready for school, and the next door neighbor's baby was crying. Which was fine, because babies, they do that. Except she kept crying, like really really crying, not that usual fussy kind of crying, so I got to wondering if something was wrong. So I knocked and no one answered, and I knocked some more and no one answered, so eventually I said screw it and I got in through a window (despite my injured foot, go me!) and the parents weren't there. THEY LEFT THEIR 3 MONTH OLD BABY ALONE! Seriously, who the hell does that?

Anyway, I got her and I'm trying to call mom to come help. She must have gotten called into the hospital overnight or something. I'm tempted to call the police, except that would be rude if it turned out something happened to the parents. Though seriously, what could have happened that would have made it ok to leave a baby alone?

And now I'm late for school, because it's not like I can bring the baby with me. Hell.

Hello? Ms. Zatanna? Are you there? There's this witch problem in Gotham and you're the only person I know who knows magic.

Dear Gotham Police Department,

You're busy. I get that. Gotham sucks, and you're trying to fix it, and that's really hard. Actually, solving cases in general is hard, and here, it's even weirder.

So when I call you and ask about that apple I gave you and whether it turned out to be poison or magic, it's ok if you tell me it's an open case and you don't want to say. You can also tell me you're dealing with something else and don't have time to talk. Hell, you can even call me a punk kid and tell me to go away.

What is not cool is when you pat me on the head and tell me there's no such thing as magic. That is you out of touch with reality, not me.

Zatanna. Wonder Woman. Green Lantern. I rest my case.

Hugs and Kisses,
Stephanie Brown

Also, I don't know where the real books on real witchcraft are, but they're not in the Gotham Public Library. I've checked like five times.

Oh hell. I wonder if it was Poison Ivy. Plants and kissing, sort of sounds like her.

( help! )

I am going to the rec center Halloween party with Johanna! And so should you! Embrace the cheesy goodness.

Quiet in here. Is this thing still on?

Hey, I'm back. What'd I miss?

This family thing came up. My mom has to go to a clinic and I'm going with her. I'll be out of school for a few weeks and I don't know if there will be computers, so... yeah.

Johanna, check the gymnastics team results for me, ok?

Tim, sorry about Criminal Minds. We'll do it when I get back, promise.

Dick, I will need like a mountain of those chocolate chip cookies when I get back. Let your super amazing bakery elves know.

Hello? Testing testing, 1 2 3...

I am such a spaz. I completely flipped out in science the other day. My poor lab partner is probably deeply regretting being stuck with my emo psycho self. It was dumb too, the same crap I always get. I know better than to let it get to me, seriously, what is my problem?

I am also totally freaking out about whether I got on the gymnastics team. I want it so much. Which usually means I won't get it. ARGHHHHH!!!!

Mom's got the night shift at the hospital. Maybe I'll work on the secret project some more tonight, try to take my mind off things. And maybe I'll see Blue Beetle again. I wonder if he's hot under his mask.

So we were in algebra and Mr. Rangel was talking about irrational numbers and he called on me and was all, "MISS BROWN! You are NOT paying attention!" which was kind of true, but it's not like I could say that, so I was like, no, really, I'm listening.

Rangel: O RLY? Then why is i irrational?
Me: You mean, "Why am I irrational."

Believe it or not, I really didn't mean it like that. My body was in math but my brain was in English.

Why do I never have a witty comeback that gets me out of the principal's office instead of into it?

That's it. Mom is fired. Fired from being my mom, I mean. I'm taking applicants. Anyone interested?

I come home from school, and she's watching TV, and I look in the fridge because I'm hungry. And it's empty. It's been empty for a few days now, we've been needing to go to the grocery store, and she keeps saying she will, but she didn't. I'm shocked, shocked I tell you. So I go to her purse to get some money and there isn't any. Like just a few bucks, not enough for groceries. And I ask her what happened to her paycheck, and she said she left it at work. She got paid Tuesday. She's been leaving her paycheck at work since Tuesday. Seriously, who does that?

So now I get to bike to the hospital, pick up her check, go to the bank, turn the check into money, go to the store, turn the money into food, and then bring it home and cook it and eat it.

So yeah, in search of a new mother. No experience necessary. Seriously, you can't possibly be worse than her.

So I've been going to high school now for like a week, and it's ok, I guess. It's big and confusing and smells kind of funny. Do people not take showers in high school? Do they forget to put on deodorant? I feel like that all got taught in my health class, right around the time they did that really disturbing lesson with the condom and the banana. A lovely mental image, I know. You're welcome.

Cheerleader try-outs are coming up, and I can't decide if I should do it. It was fun in middle school and all, but now it seems kind of like kid's stuff. Superficial. And the coach for the gymnastics team came and talked to me about doing that instead, and that sounds kind of cool, so yeah, I don't know. Could be a good way to meet people I guess. I feel like I don't know anyone.

My secret side project is going ok. Way more fun than school. I came home really late last night, didn't even really try to hide it, and my mom didn't even say anything. It's like she didn't notice or didn't care or something. That probably says something bad about one of us. The joys of being poor white trash.